Last Chance Proposal (Entangled Bliss) Page 8

  “Good. Fine,” she said, her voice breathy. Her eyes wouldn’t obey her mind and remained on his body as he bent to take the flippers off. His biceps jumped as he strained and Ellie took an extra breath as her blood ran hot.

  An image of the last time she was on this boat hit like an express train. The way her heart had nearly exploded when she’d reached across and kissed him, the way it had swooped when he’d kissed her back, the way her skin had sizzled as his fingers explored her body…

  God, she wanted him. Wanted his arms wrapped around her body, his lips against her neck. A depth charge of need powered through and air seized in her lungs.

  “It was beautiful down there.”

  She took a step back and held onto the railing. Did he remember? Did the memory still do to his body what it did to hers? Did he want her as much as she wanted him now?

  “Are you okay?” Concern clouded his features.

  “Yes.” Cool steel against her palm. “Just a bit seasick while we’re anchored. Are we still going to the island?”

  He grinned. “Sure. Give me a minute to get dried.” He went to the back of the boat, behind an inconveniently placed sail and stripped off his wetsuit.

  “Aunt Ellie?” Louis came up from below with a cookie in his mouth, Jonty following. His voice was uncharacteristically low. “Can Jonty be in the New Year’s pageant with me?”

  Ellie looked toward Cy, but he hadn’t heard.

  “I don’t know, honey. I’m not sure Jonty would like that. Maybe he’d rather just watch, but we can ask his dad.”

  “He does want to be in it, don’t you, Jonty? Like your dad used to be.” The other boy’s large, endless eyes looked up at her and he nodded. How on earth Louis had worked all that out from Jonty she didn’t know.

  “Okay, we’ll check with Cy.” Ellie took a step on the deck before Jonty laid his arm on hers and solemnly shook his head.

  “What is it, love? You don’t want your dad to know?”

  “It’s gonna be a surprise,” Louis said in a forced whisper. He put another cookie in his mouth and chewed. “Mum’s gonna take me to pageant practice today, so Jonty can watch and see if he likes it, and if he does, he can be in it. Mrs. Abberley says we need some more people for the Fie Nally bit.”

  Ellie’s heart warmed at Louis’s positivity and innocence. Jonty might’ve responded to her today, but she couldn’t see him wanting to be involved in the pageant with singing and dancing and a whole lot of noisy children. Cy’s warning about him being pushed too much was still fresh in her mind. “If Jonty wants to go today, then that sounds like a great idea but his dad might want to go with him.”

  Jonty placed a hand on the cotton of Ellie’s blouse, his palm warm against her skin. She looked down into his pleading face and without hesitation answered the question she saw there. “Okay. I’ll do my best to convince him.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Ellie and Cy sat on the pepper-and-salt sand of the tiny island and watched Jonty and Louis fly their kites in the distance. Cy’s hair had dried from the slick mass of minutes ago to curls, which danced in the wind. He’d raced up and down the beach until both boys had their kites in the air and now he was breathing heavily. His glasses covered his eyes and a small crust of salt tipped the stubble on his cheeks. She tried not to look at his washboard abs narrowing to his bright blue swim shorts.

  She pushed her legs out in front of her and wiggled her toes in the beautifully hot sand. “I’d say that was a pretty successful morning all round.”

  Cy lay flat on his back, then turned his face to hers and his mouth kicked up in a grin. “Can you believe how well Jonty and Louis are getting on?”

  She smiled softly. “I know, and have you listened to the way Louis speaks to J? He never asks him a question, never expects a response. I wonder if he’s comfortable with Jonty’s silence because he’s an only child. Growing up, he only had Fleur and our family, not a sibling or even a cousin to talk or listen to.”

  “He’s a great kid.” He shifted his body until he supported himself on an arm. “You were always a good listener. When Mum and Dad got into one of their fights you’d always listen.”

  She smiled, touched by his memory, despite the fact that wasn’t what happened at all. “Cy, you never used to tell me stuff about your parents. You’d come racing up to our house and say ‘Wanna go and surf off the point?’ I could see what had happened but you’d never talk about it. After a whole day of silence and surfing you’d come back to our place for dinner and Mum was always worried that your parents didn’t know where you were.”

  He shrugged. “That’s what happened? I could’ve sworn I told you everything.” His tone softened, and he twisted toward her more. “What you said back on the boat about not wanting to have children. Does that have something to do with William?”

  She shielded her eyes and watched the boys, Jonty running with the string and Louis racing after him with a kite. The way small people could get beyond barriers, treat each other like friends right from the outset, was an inspiration. “Maybe.”

  “You think you don’t deserve children?”

  The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. “What do you mean?”

  “Because you still hold yourself responsible for what happened to William, do you feel as though you don’t have the right to want them?”

  She scooped up a handful of sand and let the hot grains sift through her fingers, the truth in his words searing her ears. She swallowed past the lump in her throat but she couldn’t reply.

  As if he sensed the raw nerve he’d touched, his voice softened. “I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself, Ellie. You’re great with kids, and the more time you spend with Jonty I’m sure you’ll see that.”

  “I guess work’s become my baby,” she said, shrugging. “Helping people hold onto their history. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.”

  “But a family. Yours was such a great one. Wouldn’t you want that for yourself as well? Your own special history.”

  He didn’t understand what it was like. She’d made a deal with herself that she’d honor William’s life by giving up her own to help people hold onto their memories. He was right, she didn’t deserve a child of her own, but she’d never say that out loud.

  Silence stretched between them until he finally spoke again. “Kinda doesn’t make sense really, you with your great family and not wanting to have kids, and me with my messed-up one and wanting to try and scrape a new one together. I only hope I don’t screw it up.”

  She turned to him. “You’re not screwing it up. Jonty adores you.”

  He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Sometimes I’m not sure how hard to push him. Whether he’s behaving like a regular six-year-old, or if it’s because of what he’s been through.”

  “He looks like a pretty regular six-year-old right now,” she said, grinning. Both boys were looking at one of the kites on the sand and playing with the tail.

  Cy turned to her and smiled. “Shall we go see what they’re doing?”

  She nodded and stood, and they walked side by side across the sand.

  “We can’t get it up, Cy,” Louis said as he held up the bright yellow kite. “I think its tail’s gone wrong.”

  “Let me take a look.” Cy took the kite from Louis and she watched as he untangled the tail. He pushed his sunglasses onto his head to take a closer look and she couldn’t pull her gaze from the rugged set of his jaw and the dimple that dug into his cheek as he talked to the boys.

  “J’s a good runner, but we can’t launch it properly,” Louis said when Cy had handed the kite back.

  Cy nodded, then turned to Ellie and threw her a wink that flew straight into her heart. “Why don’t we let Jonty and Ellie hold the kite up and then you and I can do the pulling? If we turn around this way so we have the wind ready to help us lift it, we might get it to work.”

  “Yeah, cool.”

  Jonty took the kite from Louis and handed it to Ellie
. His cheeks were pink from running and the scarf lay loose around his neck like a fighter pilot’s.

  Cy took the reel, and together, he and Louis walked away until there was a long stretch of string between them.

  “Do you want me to hold the kite?” Ellie said.

  Jonty nodded.

  “Okay, we’re ready,” she called on the wind. “On three we’ll run. One, two, three!”

  They began to jog along the sand, Ellie with the kite held high, Jonty beside her, his arms pumping as he tried to keep up. Ahead of them, Cy and Louis had their backs turned, their hair whipping in the wind.

  “Nearly ready,” Ellie called to Jonty as she began to feel the wind beneath the kite’s light material. “Ready, set, go!” And as she slowed her steps and Jonty drew up beside her, they tipped their faces skyward and watched the bright yellow smudge dancing against brilliant blue.

  …

  “What do you think, Jonty?” Cy knelt in front of his son later that afternoon. Louis jumped up and down as if he was about to burst and Jonty looked from Ellie to Louis and back again, his face shining. Fleur waited to take the boys to pageant practice. If he agreed. The connection with Ellie had been so strong today and the prospect of being alone with her for an hour or two sent an unbidden thrill through him.

  He brushed sand from the front of his little boy’s T-shirt, perplexed at how this plan had come about. When they’d been heading home on the yacht, Louis had asked if Jonty could go to the practice and to his amazement, Jonty had nodded furiously in agreement. He cleared his throat and looked in his son’s expectant face. “Are you sure you want to go with Fleur and Louis? I could come too so we can see what it’s like together if you like.”

  Jonty shook his head. Contradiction warred within Cy, wanting to keep his little boy safe and wanting to be alone with Ellie. It was one thing Jonty having new experiences, but was he ready to let his son go off with other people who might not recognize the signs of a panic attack was another.

  “Hang on a minute.” He indicated to Ellie and Fleur that he needed to speak to them, and they walked out of the boys’ earshot. Jonty was pointing out paua shells in the steps to Louis.

  Cy rubbed his hand across his chin and turned to Fleur. “Are you sure you’re okay to take him? You’d need to look for any signs that he’s stressed, keep him with you at all times, and send someone to get me if anything goes wrong. He hasn’t been around lots of kids in a long time.”

  Fleur nodded. “He seems good when he’s with Louis, but come if you want to.”

  Ellie laid a hand on his arm. “They’ll be fine, Cy. It’s only down the beach and you saw how excited both boys were when Louis asked about it. Maybe a little independence will be good for J. Look how well he did when he was alone on the boat with me. Good things are happening for him.”

  He looked at Ellie, and she squeezed his arm as he looked into her smiling eyes. “Katie Newport will be there,” she said. “Fleur can send her straight down here if something goes wrong.”

  “Okay.” He pushed away the memory of Jonty’s reaction at the glowworms, and the guilt that he was putting his needs before his son’s. “Thanks for doing this, Fleur.

  When he’d waved his son good-bye, Cy watched him follow Louis like a little shadow down the beach, ducking in and out of driftwood piles. When Cy looked at Ellie, a smile touched her face and he knew that wanting to be alone with her wasn’t wrong.

  “I understand that’s a big step, letting him go like that.” Her voice was soft, and she held his gaze seconds longer before turning back to the house.

  He climbed the stairs after her and shrugged his worry away. “I know he’ll be fine with Fleur, but I don’t understand why he didn’t want me there.”

  She looked at him over her shoulder, an impish grin sparking her features. It looked perfect on her.

  “I’ll have to tell him about the wedding sometime soon. He’ll need to be with us at the registry office, of course. I was thinking since he’s starting to be more relaxed that I might tell him after Christmas, what do you think?”

  “Whatever you think’s best. How much will you tell him?”

  He took off his denim jacket and threw it on the couch. “I’m not sure yet. I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want him to think we’re going to be together forever. I’ll have to think about it. Hey, I’ve got a couple bottles of bubbles on ice for Christmas Day. What say we open one now? To celebrate all the new beginnings we have to look forward to. I can go get another one from Tom tomorrow.”

  She grinned as her eyes sparkled. “Go on then. There’s so much to do before Christmas Day, I’ll need to stay up all night anyway.”

  After he’d retrieved the wine from the fridge, Cy popped the cork and poured the fizzing liquid into two glasses. Ellie still sat at the table, but now her bare feet were propped on a chair opposite, her slim ankles crossed. He handed her a glass and she grinned. “Here’s to Jonty and you and to another fifty years of Rata Cove.”

  He touched her glass with his. “And to the woman who’s guaranteed a perfect future for all three.”

  A smile bracketed her mouth. “And old times.” She put the glass to her lips and drank.

  He swallowed a mouthful of champagne, and as rivers of warmth flowed with it through his body, the tension of letting his son go to the practice lifted from his shoulders.

  He nodded and placed his glass on the table. “Tell me. How was Jonty while I was snorkeling?” He topped up her glass and waited for the corners of her mouth to drop and the lines on her face to draw deeper. But neither happened. Instead, the smile touching her face grew wider as she cradled the glass in her hands.

  “It was amazing.”

  He straightened in his chair. “Amazing?” Sudden excitement burned. He’d presumed they’d have sat looking at each other. “Did he—” Cy shook his head. No, he couldn’t let himself hope it. “Did he…say something?”

  “No, he didn’t speak, but somehow we had a conversation. About his mum’s scarf and what her favorite colors might’ve been.”

  He couldn’t stop watching the light dancing on her face and the sweet lift of her lips.

  “About what’s scary when you’re six years old and the things we’ve both done to make ourselves feel better.”

  “Really? You talked about all that with him?” His heart beat higher in his body, and bright rays of hope surged beneath his skin. He wanted to grab her hand, lace his fingers through hers, and share this experience, share the connection she’d made with his son.

  “And more.” Her tone was impish. “But I can’t tell you what. A girl has to keep a secret if she’s asked to. It’s important to do the right thing.”

  “Perhaps I should do the right thing and reply to your toast.” He held up the glass and waited for her to bring her hand closer. “To us, and how little we’ve changed.”

  Her chin lifted and her lips parted. “To us?” She shook her head slightly. “You really don’t think we’ve changed?” Her voice was low.

  He watched her mouth, champagne-moist, and took a swig of his own, the cool, fizzing liquid stinging his throat as he swallowed. “You haven’t changed at all.”

  She put her mouth to the glass but kept her eyes on his and something punched him way down deep.

  It was a lie, and she knew it.

  Instead of the young and vulnerable girl he used to know, now a strong and independent—sexy—woman sat before him. She swallowed her mouthful and the smooth movement of liquid sliding down her throat drew his stare to her slender neck and the vanilla skin shimmering there. He’d kissed that skin once and could remember the sweet taste of it. But what would it taste like now? Now that she was a woman who’d no doubt had a number of lovers, a woman who’d know what she wanted.

  Back then she’d been comfortable, safe. She’d changed all right, more than he’d thought possible, and it was playing hell with his focus.

  “I’d like to have changed,” she said softly, snapping
him out of his thoughts.

  “Why?”

  She took another mouthful of the wine and slowly swirled it around her mouth, the sultry movement of her lips mesmerizing him.

  Hot need beat down low and he crunched his stomach muscles tight. No. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t. If he got too close to Ellie right now, he’d end up hurting her and screwing with Jonty’s life. He wouldn’t let either of those things happen. When the custody was assured, it would be a different story. Then he could put his energies into winning her back for real.

  “If I’d changed, I wouldn’t be scared anymore.”

  He tried, but he couldn’t make himself look past her. He set his glass on the polished tabletop and thought he heard her take a deeper breath.

  Moving to get up, she knocked her glass from the table with her elbow. It smashed in a thousand pieces on the floor, the tinkle echoing around the room like a choir. Startled, she stood and took a step toward him and, unthinkingly, he reached for her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  Her eyes were wide and infinite. Only inches away.

  “What wouldn’t you be scared of if…you’d changed?” he whispered, his mind spinning.

  Her tongue ran across her bottom lip, and then she drew it between her teeth before releasing it. “Not scared of failing people. Not scared that if I didn’t do the right thing, somebody would take the things I love away.” She looked away from him. The meaning beneath her words scrambled in his ears. Did she still love him? God, his brain was so heated he wasn’t sure. Hadn’t she only agreed to marry him to pay him back for the secret he’d kept for her? Leaning closer, his throat closed, but his senses stood to attention and he smothered the warning in his head.

  “Would you be scared of what would happen if I kissed you now?” He rasped the words out but instead of leaning into him, she stayed there, inches away, looking directly into his face and sending fingers of heat through him.

  He stayed rigid, knowing this shouldn’t happen, that he’d been tempted once before by her and didn’t follow through. One kiss wouldn’t be enough… Looking down at the chestnut waves of her hair, her perfect nose, and the pout of her lips, every cell in his body ached to be nearer. Her amber eyes sparked as he reached out and traced the soft skin of her cheek.